MY MOM; she likes to watch surgeries on TV (and not the sissy ER kind), should never ever be allowed near sangria, and will whip up the Moose Room for any weary traveler almost as fast as she’ll reprimand you for leaving shaving stubble in the sink.

MY DAD; a kind man of letters and numbers, and words and more words. An alficionado of almost any subject that allows him to take an unlimited amount of time explaining it. He should always be allowed near sangria, but whisky blessedly speeds his speech. Professionally, my folks have retired from illustrious careers with the government & nursing, and have hunkered down on a beautiful piece of land in the woods. They currently run two country stores that they own, selling wonderful things made of trees.

MY SISTER and her lovely husband, somewhere in or around Uzbekistan ’05. You can’t tell from this photo but neither of them is really normal sized. They LOOK normal sized because the doorway they’re standing in is abnormally tall. But like me? Standing next to my sister in this photo? I would come up to the bottom of her scarf.

MY BROTHER, his lovely wife & my adorable nephew. I might call my brother a redneck, endearingly of course, if I wasn’t afraid he would beat the snot out of me with his gunrack…Kidding! Here is where i exact my revenge for early years of noogies, wedgies and wet willies:

Cindy is my natural mother. She gave righteous birth to me when she was just a teenager living near Richmond, Virginia and i can’t thank her ENOUGH for going through with the pregnancy. It was a marvelous stroke of luck to be born. Worked out very well for me. At the earliest possible legal moment, I sought her out, having known of my adoption from birth. We met ceremoniously at an Applebees for riblets and fiesta lime chicken near Richmond when i was 17. From our first hug hello Cindy has existed in my heart somewhere between an awe-inspiring older sister who always does the right thing, and that incredible friend you may find once in a lifetime, who is inexplicably exactly like you.

She has two other daughters, Linda and Kaitlyn who, as a baby, survived a life threatening bout with Lukemia. This picture to the left was, i believe, the first photo i received from Cindy, and the first time i ever saw her face. That is a young Linda next to her.